Twentyf***ingseven

It’s my birthday next month.. 27. Wait, WHAT? Twentyfuckingseven. How the hell am I in my late 20’s?

I remember being 21, I vaguely remember my 23^rd but I’m sure I missed 25? 26 was only last week wasn’t it? Shit.

I remember thinking that when I hit 27 I would have all my shit together; it was easy, I had like 7 years! Bags of time, that’s at least 364 Saturday morning hangovers, 1,820 days of work, 2,555 days to find a boyfriend, nail him down and marry him. HEAPS of time.

But here I am, 27 is 35 days away and I’m still single. So if I were to have a Rachel Green moment, if I meet a guy now, date for at least a year or two, get engaged, save for the wedding, get married, wait a year or so, get pregs, 9 months later have a baby... I’m like nearly 40 right?
Jokes babes, more like 31. But still, that's scary. 

The silliest thing about all this? Why am I attempting to map out my life now when I appear to have failed to follow any of the ‘rules’ for the past 27 years? 

Now I did well, I made it through high school without producing the spawn of a heavily fringed, Vans wearing 17 year old boyfriend who had clearly never heard of a belt. Praise the lord!
I didn’t go to uni- I don’t think this is a failure though, I just didn’t want to waste the first 15 years of my pension with the financial reminder of a 3 year hangover and a diet of supernoodles. Don’t get me wrong, I still did this, I just had to fund it myself. 

Boyfriends... don’t even get me started. Finding them isn't the issue...
My issue is that I’m a big ball of sop. I mean, I really need to get a grip. I fall in love too easily, I get too caught up, then it all tends to go a little bit Pete Tong. Is it me? I am fully aware that I’m a pain in the arse, and everyone says that I just haven’t found “the right one” but seriously now – WHERE IS HE? You bitches are all settled, which must mean only one thing – there’s none left. You’ve taken them all. Now I’m gonna have to do a Madonna and hang on for the next generation. Cheers guys.
Oh and no I don’t want to go on a blind date. No I don’t want to meet your boyfriend's single 35 year old mate. STOP please.

So here’s the new strategy... wait for it... it’s genius... I’m just going to do it my way. I say that now, but I’ll probably be in love again next week. But for now, I’m just going to enjoy life, spend time with the people who are special to me, and see how things go. 

No big introductions, no talk of weddings and babies, just enjoy it like we used to do when we were young and time didn’t seem an issue. The good old days when you received a round of applause when you had your one month anniversary with your boyfriend, and your biggest issue was whose arm went in front when you held hands.

I don’t mean I’m going to have some secret life, I just mean that I’m going to be sensible, cautious, make sure things are serious before everyone meets the guy; mainly because I feel like my family are probably getting far too much of an insight into how many people I’ve slept with due to the number of boyfriends they’ve met. Sorry Grandma!

Moving on, I forget that I have done some pretty amazing things over the past year- I moved to London! Yes, I actually moved out of home and ventured further away than the end of my parents road. OMG yay for me!

I moved to London, the neverland for ageing spinsters like myself – London allows you to be a 27 year old hipster but behave like you’re 22.

Yes.
This is my city. 

Who needs love? 

I actually got violated on tube the other morning in a way that never happened in any of my long term relationships. 

Result. 

But seriously, as much as I miss my family and friends back home, I feel like I needed to do this. I loved my job before, but I just felt like I was going through the motions; I was waiting around for something that was never going to satisfy me. I needed to break out of my comfort zone, challenge myself and do something new, meet new people and be confident and happy with who I am.
Now I’m not saying that it’s all just happened overnight, but I do feel more confident in myself! I have a new job and it’s totally different than anything I have done before; I’ve met a whole new wonderful group of people and I can finally be who I want to be.

And I think that's just the path I need to take; I spend so much time dwelling on the fact that I'm not married and not pregnant, I forget that I have all this to look forward to! I'm spending so much time waiting for 'it' to happen, I have let a lot of things pass me by. You can't force it, it's just clearly not my time yet! 

It's just one big journey, some people win the direct ticket, others have to stop off along the way. In the end we all get there. 

To those who are settled and happy, I'm happy for you, I'm not going to envy you anymore because I know I'll have my time, it's just going to take me a little longer! 

But then again I am the biggest procrastinator ever known to human kind, so why this is a surprise I do not know. 

So for now, I'm going to work hard, play hard, make some amazing memories in London and enjoy my life as each piece naturally comes together. 

And yes, I will still probably cry on my birthday. Mainly because I've asked for Kit Harington and I'm almost 97% sure I'm not going to get him.